Negotiation Isn’t Personal

“During a negotiation it would be wise not to take anything personally. If you leave personalities out of it, you’ll be able to see opportunities more objectively.” – Brian Koslow

How do you not take negotiation so personally? Here are some of my favorite tips:

• Pretend that you’re someone who would be a smooth and calm negotiator. My model for this is Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg
• Don’t go first: Rather than you saying, “I’m looking for a 10% increase,” (or whatever) let the other party go first because they may come with something that’s beyond what you already considered. In a hiring process, you want to get specific about money only after you have received an offer. There’s this glorious window between when you’re interviewing for a job and have been made an offer and then when you decide to accept it. During that timeframe, you have more leverage in terms of what you can negotiate than you ever will at any other time in the process.
• What to say in a job offer: You know how sometimes in an interview, pretty early in the process they ask, “What are your salary expectations?” You can use this line: “I would be more comfortable discussing compensation after we’ve determined I’m the right person for the job.” I love that one. If they press further and say, “Well, we really need to know or we can’t go further,” then ask them, “What range are you thinking of?” That word ‘range’ is so useful because it gives you more play room for negotiating up.
• Focus on their wants: When it comes to negotiating, it’s valuable to understand before being understood. As you’re going through whatever negotiation process, ask them, “What are your priorities? What are you really hoping for?” If there’s anything that doesn’t make sense to you or needs clarification, ask why they’ve taken that position. What are their short and long term goals? Dig in, learn and then as a part of that process, you’re communicating, you’re establishing the relationship and you’re finding out what will make them happy in the deal, which then allows you to be more clear in how you’re proposing what you’re looking for.
• If things get confusing: If somewhere in the negotiation process things get confusing, “I hear what you’re saying about such and such, please tell me more.” That’s such a great phrase.
• Silence is golden (literally!) Being quiet can actually work in your favor. You may have heard about the technique where you count to 10 silently when they make an offer. So if they say, “Hey, we’re willing to pay you $80 thousand a year with these kind of benefits,” if you just sit quietly after they’ve shared that, with a neutral expression on your face, just counting to 10 internally, what they may perceive that to be is that it’s not enough and if they have any wiggle room then they’ll pony up some more money. If they ask you, “Why am I not hearing anything from you?” You can say, “I’m just considering the offer.” It’s fine to consider the offer.
• Shift gears as necessary. If you’re going down a path that doesn’t feel good to you in a negotiation, say, “Let’s set this part aside for now and talk about …” Choose something else. It could be benefits, et cetera.

Here’s wishing you a fabulous outcome in your negotiations! I’d love to hear how this info has helped you. Please send success stories to Katy@CareerSolutionsGroup.net