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Are you a fraud?
I’ve worked as a career counselor since 1993, logging over 25,000 hours of client time, and there are still days when I feel like a phony. A client can ask for advice, and I can give my opinion based on observing the results of others I’ve supported, but I can’t predict how things will turn out. Each person is unique, each situation is different, and my work doesn’t operate with formulaic precision.
Wikipedia defines Imposter Syndrome as, ”…a concept describing high-achieving individuals who are marked by an inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud’”. The American Psychological Association reports that those who grew up in environments where accomplishment was emphasized struggle more with this phenomenon. My high-achieving grandparents and parents definitely modeled this for me.
The APA also points out that those who are starting new endeavors feel like phonies more frequently, which also applies, as alongside my regular work I’ve recently launched a new enterprise. Still, those of us suffering from imposter-ism must press on, and author Kirsten Wier, in her article “Feel like a Fraud?” recommends these strategies to keep the syndrome in check:
– Tap your mentors. Thankfully, I have a handful of advisors who are a phone call away when I need a pep talk or to sort out a challenging client situation.
– Recognize your expertise. A great way to do this is teach someone with less experience; it will remind you of how much you really know.
– Remember what you do well. High achievers often wish for excellence in all areas of their lives, which is unrealistic. Instead, refer to list of skills where you know you excel when you’re feeling less than confident.
– No one is flawless. Learn to acknowledge when you’ve done something well, and then let the desire for perfection go.
Finally, seek professional help. There have been times when I’ve talked with a therapist about the fraud feeling, and one of the most helpful things they’ve shared is that they feel like imposters sometimes, too.
