Negotiating: The Single Biggest Mistake People Make

I am excited to share this information with you about how to negotiate with confidence. Let me start by saying that this is a huge topic, so we’ll cover it over this blog and the next 3 following, where I’ll share some golden nuggets that have been helpful to our clients over the years.

What are your biggest challenges when it comes to negotiating? Keep that challenge as a goal to improve upon, making the following information more personal and helpful. What specifically do you want to be better at negotiating? Negotiating can cover everything from talking your kids into helping clean up the kitchen after dinner to negotiating that dream deal that you are so ready to have in the bag.

Let’s start with the number one reason why negotiations fail. This quote from Howard Baker, sums it up well: “The most difficult thing in any negotiation is making sure that you strip it of the emotion and deal with the facts.” That is the crux of it right there. As negotiators trying to get what we want, we’re often not clear on facts in terms of what are we aiming for, and what makes sense. That lack of preparation results in a process that’s much more emotional, and ultimately, much less successful.

My goal is to give you some concrete strategies to help you improve in both of those areas, both with the facts you’re presenting and then how to deal with the emotions that will pop up around that.

So what are you negotiating? What do you want to change? If you aren’t clear on what specifically what you want to be different, it will weaken your position because then you don’t know where you have room to press harder and where you have room to be flexible.

KEY CONSIDERATION: About 70% of adults are not clear on what they want career-wise. So they’re thinking something like, “Well, more money will make me happier.” Which, studies show that more money does make you happier for just a little while, usually only a few months. Being clear on what it is that’s going to make you happier will help you be more fact driven with what you’re asking for.  If you need help with this part, keep in mind that as a career counseling company, we can help you gain that clarity. We help them with career assessments to articulate their priorities, and then with career research so that they know their options and can make an informed decision.

But for now, let’s dive in on the specifics of what you want to negotiate:

Make it Justifiable: Let’s say you want a raise and are asking for a 20% increase. But without knowing, that request is out of line with what your market or company can bear, so it’s already a losing proposition. Back to my point before: research and preparation can increase your probability of success.

If you’re not sure how much to ask for, either a raise for a position you currently hold, or if you are negotiating for a job offer. Your goal is to be specific why you should get the raise and without stating it initially, specifically how much.

Example: “I’m seeking a raise to reflect my increased value to the company and to keep my income competitive.” This is much better. This kind of approach opens it up for you to demonstrate what that value is for you to share market competitive data.

In the next blog, I’ll share specifics around researching market competitive data and conveying your increased value, so stay tuned!